It’s been a while, hasn’t it?  My hiatus, that is.  It was necessary, it had to be done this way.  I needed that escape; I needed the time to ready myself.  Nothing could have prepared me for the question that night in the interview.  Colton was right, it had been long ago, but were we ever really “good?”  The shame I allowed Colton to carry for so long is unforgivable.   The look on his face that night during the interview was more than I could bare to see, though, I couldn’t come clean, not there, not in front of my Father.  I knew I had to do it; however, at what cost?  Sooner or later the secret would unfold, and my biggest fear would soon become my reality. 

 

Sasha and I had spent the entire day together just two days before she and Colton were to leave for Tokyo.  We talked about everything.  My suspicions of being pregnant with Damon’s child and the outcome of what could happen.  She explained everything to me about Dominic Mikaelson and how he threatened her over Colton when she confronted him about being his daughter, and how she feared he would do the same to me if I were indeed pregnant with his son’s child.  She told me my safest option was to see Damon’s mother, Helen Mikaelson; for it was Helen who proved her suspicions of paternity for her. 

 

Sasha wasn’t going to allow me to go through it alone, she told me, she would talk Colton into postponing their trip, but she needed a good reason why.  I told her it was fine, that Damon and I had also made plans to escape for a while.  When she mentioned that Colton never said anything to her about it.  I had to be the one to say, I wasn’t planning on doing so.  Her question to me next was, why?  Why wouldn’t I tell Colton.  Well, to be honest, I said, I didn’t want him to talk me out of it.  Like I knew he would.  He did not even know I was dating Damon at the time.  He warned me to stay away from that family.  Sometimes, now, I wish I had listened.

 

I had helped Sasha pack that day.  The day before my appointment with Mrs. Mikaelson.  Damon and I were supposed to be meeting later that afternoon to get my passport.  Something I should have renewed from being on the road with the Federation.  But Mom had always taken care of that for us.  How would I be able to ask Mom or even Dad for my passport without them being suspicious?  I knew even Uncle Stefan would go to them if I had asked him for help.  It too felt like I was growing up in the mob.  Nothing went unnoticed, or if it had, not for long with my parents.  Mom was the worst.  Colton was able to get away with everything growing up.  Broken curfews, sneaking out at night, hell, even stealing Dad’s truck one night.  Me, however, if I stayed on the phone longer than I expected, Mom would take it and find out who was on the other end. 

 

I don’t think I ever forgave her for the way I was treated, but I do understand.  Mom was raised by my grandfather and both my uncles.  My grandmother, Davina, passed away when mom was born.  She never knew what it was like to be a mother.  She was raised tough, she had to be.  My grandmother was a model back in her day.  The very reason mom went into modeling.  She had the looks, of course she had the body, but she lacked understanding what it felt like to be a woman and that alone, I admire her for overcoming it.  Mom, I understand the tough love now and I am sorry for being so stubborn like Dad. She done everything she knew how to do, and she continues to go above and beyond for all of us.

 

Anyway, that afternoon, Sasha went with me to Dr. Mikaelson’s office in the hospital. She was going to help me explain the situation and ask her to help me, as she did for her.  You could see the concern in Ms. Helen’s eyes when we came to her for help. It was as if we had asked her to hide a dead body or something.  Helen was nice about things when I got there; she told me she had heard Damon speak of a nice girl that he was interested in, however, he just kept his private life to himself she said, and with good reason.   

 

By the time all the labs were completed and Mrs. Mikaelson, Sasha and I all sat down to discuss what was next, it had just dawned on me; I was going to be a mom.  I don’t think I even paid much attention to what they were discussing at that point.  What was I going to do?  How was I going to explain this to my parents, my father? I just started college, just started my wrestling career; what would Damon say, what would he do?

 

I looked to Sasha, I needed to get out of there, I needed to find Damon, but Mrs. Mikaelson begged me not to tell Damon, not yet.  She gathered all the paperwork, photos, everything, and told me not to say anything until she contacted me.  Sasha was a bit surprised but told me it was for the best.  She even promised not to tell Colton.   I felt like the whole world was crashing down on me and I couldn’t ask for help.  Sasha hugged me, and promised everything would be ok.  That I would not have to go through this alone.

 

We left the hospital; I drove Sasha back to the mayor’s house and we finished packing her bags.  We were almost in the clear with the last two bags when Mrs. Cunningham, Sasha’s mom, caught us walking down the stairs.  She asked Sasha what she was doing and where she was going.  She told her mom she was going to stay with me for the weekend, that I was having boyfriend issues, and she didn’t want me to be alone.  Man was that ever correct.

 

As we left, Sasha had called Colton for the arrangements at the hotel they would be meeting at.  She had told him I was dropping her off and what she had told her mother about her being gone for the weekend.  Of course, he knew he could trust me with the details and not to tell mom and dad; I just wished I could have been able to do the same in my situation. 

 

Colton always felt the need to protect me, I think my parents pretty much left me as his responsibility at times.  Yes, they were gone on the road a lot but with me being in college and safe on campus grounds in an all-girl’s dorm, what trouble could I get into that Colton couldn’t take care of for them?  Little did they know.

There was no doubt that I could trust Colton with my life, but when it came down to something that I even knew could ruin me, I couldn’t go to him.  This was a secret I felt I had to keep for as long as I possibly could.  Eventually everything would have been ok, I thought.  Colton and Sasha would be away and happy.  Maybe Damon would stay and not leave after all, and I could continue with school; but damn; my wrestling career.  How could I continue?  I would need a way out, but how?

 

We arrived at the hotel; everything was set to go for her and Colton.  We unloaded her bags, sat, and talked for a while, I gave her a hug, wished her and Colton well, and I left to get ready to see Damon.  That was the last time I saw her.  If I had only stayed with her until Colton arrived.  Maybe, just maybe, things would have ended differently, for everyone.